Curse of the Insane Fangirls
by darth-trinity
Summary: PG 13 to be safe. Two teenage best friends were camping, make a stupid wish, and wind up in the movie. Will everyone else go insane because of them? Likely.
1. Nice Going Kelsi

Curse of the Insane Fangirls

DISCLAIMER:

darth-trinity:I don't own any of this. DUH! If I did own it why the hell would I be writing this, why the hell would I be broke, and why the hell would the insane assylum be chasing me? Waaaaaaaaitasecond. HOLY CRAP RUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!

***********************************************************************

The two best friends hiked through the forest, arguing loudly.

"Left you idiot! The map said turn left!" Yelled the girl with dark red hair.

"Did not! Right, see, it says right!" Yelled a shorter girl with black hair and bright green bangs, pointing at a map.

"The map is UPSIDE DOWN YOU IDIOT!!!!!" The taller girl yelled.

"IS-hey you're right. Oops." The shorter one realized.

"You MORON!!!!!" 

"Hey, who was the one who wished us into Lord of the Rings?" Asked the shorter one.

"Ya, okay, so I've done stupid things like that. Once. I mean it's not like I'm gonna say 'I wish we were in Pirates of the Caribean' or something else STUPID like-"

She was cut off by a swirling vortex and both girls landed on something hard.

************************************************************************

"That." The taller girl finnished.

"Um, Kelsi, I think it worked." The shorter girl said, seeing the many military members surrounding them with swords.

"Oops?"Kelsi said.

"Identify yourselves," ordered a stern voice as the weapons were lowered.

"Make me." The shorter one retorted.

"My name is Kelsi." Kelsi said.

"And who is your companion?" Asked a guy with white hair.

This was the part where all the confusion seemed to start.

"Kelsey." Kelsi answered.

"Stop playing games! What is her name?" The guy with white hair asked again.

"Kelsey!" Kelsi answered again.

"Tell the truth!"

"HEL-LO!!!!!" Kelsey screamed. "Will you dipshits stop talking about me like I'm not even here?!"

"Fine then. What is your name?" The white haired guy asked. He was obviouslyrunning out of patience.

"Kelsey." Kelsey said. "And if you don't like it you can go to hell."

This really offended the military people for some odd reason, and the girls were soon surrounded by swords again.

"Nice one Kels." Kelsi commented sarcastically.

"Shut up."

"Uh, argue later run now." Kelsi said, running flat out away from the swords.

Kels followed, yelling something about a cliff.

"What are you talking, oh." Kelsi said, seeing the sharp drop and stopping.

"See! This is one of those stupid things we talk about!" Kels told her friend.

"Uh, got any ideas?" Kelsi asked as the military closed in again.

"JUMP!!" Kels yelled, jumping headfirst off the cliff and diving into the ocean.

"ARE YOU OUTA YOUR FRIGGEN MIND?!!!!!!!" Kelsi screamed, not moving.

Kels appeared back at the surface. "JUMP YOU IDIOT!!!" She yelled.

"NO WAY!!" Kelsi yelled. "I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!!!!"

"WELL IT'S THAT OR HUMAN SHISHKABOB!!!!!" Kels yelled.

That persuaded Kelsi to jump.

"That was the STUPIDEST plan you ever came up with!" Kelsi said, swimming up to the surface. "And that includes climbing out of the classroom through the ceiling."

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Kels asked.

"The ceiling thing back fired you-"

"I meant this. We aren't human shishkabobs." Kels said, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, so where do we go now?" 

"Anywhere, just as long as it doesn't screw with my eyeliner." Kels said.

"Umm..okay, why don't we go to that dock over there?" Kelsi asked, pointing.

The girls swam over to the dock, and were greeted with more swords.

"DAMMIT WHY?! WHY US!!!!!!?" Kelsi yelled.

"BECAUSE YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO WISH US HERE!!" Kels yelled back.

"Will you two please be quiet? I was going for the big dramatic capture to impress a girl here?" Asked a guy with white curly hair.

"MAKE US!!!!" Yelled both girls at the top of their lungs.

"Are you mad?" Asked a wet prissy looking girl.

"Uh, DUH!" Kels answered.

"Hey, you're that chick from the movie!" Kelsi realized.

"I'm that what?" The girl asked.

"DAMMIT KELSI! WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU ABOUT WATCHING YOUR DAMN LANGUAGE?!!!!!!!" Yelled Kels. "Oops."

"Uh....RUUUUN!!!!!" Yelled Kelsi, and the two girls bolted down the streets.

"Umm..Kelsi? Where the hell are we going?" Kels asked.

"Anywhere but here." Kelsi answered.

"Hey, it's a conveniently placed door!" Kels said, pointing at a door with a weird hammer thing over it.

"Doesn't this place look familiar to you?" Kelsi asked.

"Umm...I can't remember, let's just say no and hope there's somewhere to hide okay?" Kels answered, opening the door.

The two girls ran inside and closed the door behind them. Which is when a guy jumped out from behind them holding a sword.

"What are you doing here?" Asked the guy and Kelsi at the same time.

"You first." Replied The guy and Kels.

"YOU first!" Demanded Kelsi and the guy.

"HEY! Stop playing mind games!" Yelled the guy.

"You're the one playing mind games you idiot!" Kels yelled back immaturely.

"I'm hiding from the commodor and his men." The guy answered, rolling his eyes.

"Hey! You're the Jack Sparrow guy!" Kelsi realized.

"Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack corrected. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Well, it's a long story, but it wasn't my fault." Kelsi began.

"Uh, ya it is, YOU'RE the idiot who landed us here in this place in the first place!" Kels corrected.

"You made me jump off the cliff!" Kelsi shot back.

"Did you want to become a human shishkabob?" Kels asked.

"Hide, somebody's coming!" Jack said, ducking behind a peice of machinery.

The girls jumped behind another peice of machinery, and watched as a really really hot guy walked in.

"Kels, you're drooling." Kelsi whispered.

"You are too." Kels shot back.

"Shut up, he's saying something." Kelsi told Kels.

The two crazy teenagers watched as Jack jumped out with his sword in his hand.

"You're the onre hunting. The pirate." Said the hot guy.

"Hey! We are not pirates!" Kelsi protested.

"You dumbass!" Kels yelled. "You totally gave us away!"

"Hey! It was YOUR idea to hide here in the first place!" Kelsi argued.

"Well, last I checked I wasn't the one who got us here." Kels retorted.

"Hey shut up!" Kelsi yelled.

"Make me!" Kels shot back, which led to a full fledged fist fight.

"What the?" Asked Jack.

"Oh right. Uh, continue." Kels and Kelsi stopped fighting.

After a really neat fight scene which involved much drooling, hyperventilating and arguing over who got the hot guy, the commodor finaly got into the shop and saw Jack Sparrow face down on the floor.

"What happened in here?" He asked.

"WHATEVER IT IS, WE DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!!!!" Yelled Kels.

This turned the commodor's attention to the girls. "You two again."

"See, why do I do stupid things like that?" Kelsi asked. "Hey, aren't you the stuck up prick who...and that."

"Fine, bring them too." The commodor instructed his men.

"Get. The. Hell. Away. From. Me. Or. Else." Kels threatened.

"Or else what?" Asked the apparently stupid random soldier.

Kels rolled her eyes and made a fist. "This." She said, decking the soldier really hard in the face.

"Ow, that hurt!" Yelled the soldier.

"That was the intention." Kels retorted.

Within about five minutes, the girls themselves locked in a jail cell with Jack, arguing over whose fault it was.

************************************************************************

Okay, just review, I know it wasn't that great, it gets better.


	2. Moisturizer, Smoke Signals, Mascara and ...

Curse of the Insane Fangirls 

CHAPTER 2

DISCLAIMER:

darth-trinity: I'M BA-ACK!!!!! Okay, big iced mocha gives a total caffeine buzz. WHEEE!! Aaaaaaneewhosies, I don't own jack squat. Duh.

***********************************************************************

"This was sooo your fault!" Kels said, pointing at Kelsi.

"Nuh uh!" Kelsi argued.

"Yes huh!" Kels yelled back.

"It's yuh huh, not yes huh you dipshit!" Kelsi said.

"Is sooooo not!" Kels said.

"Is so!"

"No huh!"

"That's it, I'm too mature for these childish mind games!" Kelsi said rolling her eyes.

"I WIN!!!!!!!!" Kels yelled at the top of her lungs.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!" Yelled the pirates in the next cell.

"MAKE ME!!!!" Kels yelled back. "And, like, dudes, seriously, the I haven't showered in six weeks look is soo out. You need some serious moisturizer or something."

"I'm with her on this one." Kelsi agreed. "Clearasil will do wonders for you."

"No way, Neutragena is like, the way to go." Kels argued.

"What is Neutragena?" Asked Jack.

"Skin stuff. Oh ya, I was meaning to ask you. Where did you get that eyeliner?" Kelsi asked, batting her eyelashes.

"Kelsi, you dumbass, you only bat your eyes on the second attempt, never the first." Kels corrected.

"Then what do you do on the first attempt?" Kelsi asked in confusion.

"You smile and walk away." Kels informed her.

"Oh. Oops. Well screw that, what's step three?" Kelsi asked.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Jack in total confusion.

"The simple steps to flirting." Kels said. "And FYI Kelsi, step three is playing with your hair and sticking your boobs out."

"Okay, whatever. OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Kelsi yelled suddenly.

"What?" Kels asked.

"I just rubbed my eye and lost some of my mascara!" Kelsi said.

"Don't you have more in your backpack?" Kels asked.

"Hey, you're right." Kelsi opened her backpack and pulled out a tube of mascara. "Can I borrow your mini mirror?"

She was promptly hit in the face with a small green mirror.

"Hey, why didn't they take our backpacks away?" Asked Kels.

"I don't know, they probably thought you were a hunchback or something." Kelsi answered.

She was hit in the face by a rock.

"Ow! Where did you find a rock in here?" Asked Kelsi, rubbing her face.

"In my backpack." Kels answered, grabbing a magazine out of her backpack and flipping through it.

"Why do you have a rock in your backpack?" Kelsi asked.

"In case I had to throw something." Kels said, ducking as the rock flew back at her, not looking up from her magazine. "You got anything in your backpack to bust us outa here?"

"Hmm..lemme see." Kelsi said, pulling things out of her backpack and putting them in a pile on the floor. "Discman, water bottle, CD's, chocolate bar, smoke signal kit-"

"Why the hell do you have a smoke signal kit in your backpack?" Asked Kels.

"Well I was camping with you wasn't I?" Kelsi asked.

"My sense of direction isn't that bad!" Kels argued.

"What sense of direction?" Kelsi asked.

Kels rolled up her magazine, smacked Kelsi, and calmly went back to reading.

"Ow." Kelsi said, going back to her backpack.

"Lemme see, eyeliner, mascara, movie ticket stubs, lint, wallet, hey, THAT'S where my history homework went, dynamite-"

KABOOM!!

"Kelsi, what the hell was that?" Kels asked.

"It wasn't me!" Kelsi protested.

"It's the pearl..." Jack said.

"The pearl? Like, THE PEARL?!" Kels shrieked.

"HOW MANY OTHER PEARLS DO YOU KNOW DIPSHIT?!!!!" Kelsi yelled.

"Okay, you are such a-"

KABOOM!!!!!!

"Kelsi, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO NOW?!!!!!" Kels asked.

"Nothing." Kelsi answered.

They looked to the next cell, where the other pirates were escaping through a hole in the wall.

"Okay, so what was that moisturizer again?" One of them asked.

"Neutragena." Kels repeated.

"Thanks." He replied, jumping through the wall.

"DAMMIT WE'RE STILL STUCK IN THIS PLACE!!!!" Kelsi yelled.

"YOU JUST REALIZED THAT?!!!!!!" Kels and Jack yelled at the same time.

"Shut up." Kelsi retorted.

"Make me, you slut." Kels shot back, rolling her eyes.

"Excuse me? WHAT did you just call me?" Kelsi asked, flipping her hair and going into full fledged valley girl mode.

"You heard me!" Kels answered, waving her hand in Kelsi's face.

"Do not wave your finger in my face, bitch!" Kelsi said, putting her hands on her hips.

"I was not waving my finger in your face!" Kels argued, waving her finger again.

"Okay, you know what? WHATEVER!" Kelsi said.

"Fine then!" Kels said, turning around.

They were interrupted by a dead soldier falling down the stairs. Kels immediately looked at Kelsi.

"Why are you looking at me like that? It wasn't my fault!" Kelsi protested.

"That's what you say all the time." 

"Well it's true this time."

"This time?" Jack asked.

"Don't ask." Kels and Kelsi said at the same time, rolling their eyes.

"Hey, this isn't the armoury." Said a pirate, coming downstairs.

"No shit Sherlock." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, I think we've been a bad influence on him." Kelsi said.

"No way." Kels argued.

"Screw you asshole!" Jack said as a pirate reached into the cell.

"Okay, maybe just a small bad influence." Kels admitted.

***********************************************************************

Okay, I know it was short, but my best friends bugging me on MSN to hurry up. Oh yes read her fics, her name is Dark Omen.


End file.
